Have you ever been driving home or watching TV in the evening when, out of nowhere, you snap back to reality and realize your mind has drifted somewhere else? It happens more often than we realize—our thoughts wandering off while life keeps moving. Without even noticing, we lose countless little moments in our lives—pulled into memories of the past, plans for the future, or daydreams about someplace else entirely. It’s a natural part of being human, not bad or wrong, and can even help us cope during stressful times. But when it happens unconsciously, over a lifetime, we might one day look back and realize just how much of life we’ve let slip by.
In today’s fast-paced, ever-connected world, staying in the present moment seems like an increasingly difficult task. We’re bombarded by distractions, pulled in a hundred different directions, and constantly urged to look to the past or future for meaning, satisfaction, or validation. The idea of simply being present, of experiencing life as it is, without overthinking or distraction, can feel more elusive than ever.
This challenge isn’t new, but it’s something that can grow more pronounced as we age. Our mental patterns, our emotional baggage, and our attachment to external markers of value all contribute to the difficulty of remaining in the now. There are many practices like yoga, and mindfulness, that offer guidance on how to return to the present moment—not as a fleeting goal, but as a way of life.
So why is staying in the present so hard? What makes it even more difficult as we get older? And how can we cultivate the art of presence, especially when we often seem so far removed from it?
The Elusive Present Moment
The present moment is the only time that truly exists— the only place where we can have an accurate experience of life as it is. All other experiences are susceptible to the filters of our subconscious mind, limiting beliefs, and emotional states. When we dwell on the past or worry about the future, we’re not actually living—we’re reacting to old conditioning, replaying memories that are often distorted or projecting possibilities that don’t exist yet. The past is a collection of memories, never truly accurate and often distorted by our own desires and fears, and the future is a projection—a concept that doesn’t exist outside our minds. But we get stuck there, lost in what we think was or what we fear might be, instead of being here, now.
One of the motivations for our minds to set up home in past or future thinking is our deeper desire to predict, control, or prepare for what might come next. The paradox is that the present moment is the only thing that offers true peace, joy, and connection, but can feel like the hardest to access. Our minds, conditioned by years of habit, keep us tethered to thoughts of what we should have done or what might come next.
But if the present moment holds the potential for our peace, why is it so hard to get there, and stay?
The truth is that our minds are rarely still. We’re constantly distracted by external stimuli—smartphones, emails, social media, work—and our internal monologues, filled with worries, regrets, and desires. These distractions make it harder to slow down, quiet the mind, and experience life as it unfolds in the moment.
Distraction as a Defense Mechanism
We live in a world that glorifies busyness, where productivity is often mistaken for purpose and our worth feels tied to how much we achieve. We chase accomplishments, seek approval, and fill every moment with something to do—rarely stopping to simply be. In this constant cycle of “doing,” we lose touch with the present, rushing through life without ever fully experiencing it.
Stillness, on the other hand, can feel uncomfortable—like staring into a mirror we’re not ready to face. When we slow down and give our mind an opportunity to shift into the present, we can come face to face with the emotions we’ve been avoiding—loneliness, fear, sadness, anxiety. These feelings can be very strong, uncomfortable and difficult to confrontInstead. So instead of letting ourselves experience these feelings, we numb ourselves with distractions—daydreaming, chronic “problem solving,” binge-watching, over-scheduling—anything to keep from feeling too much. As spiritual traditions have long taught, running from the truth of our selves, of which our feelings is a part, only deepens our suffering. Unfelt emotions don’t disappear; they linger, shaping our minds, our bodies, and the way we experience life. They keep us from the deep peace and joy we all long for. The hard truth? The only way to truly find the joy you seek is by facing whatever arises in the present moment—without judgment, without running. Simple? Yes. Easy? If it were, wouldn’t more of us already be doing it?
The Mind’s Resistance to the Present
“The quieter you become, the more you can hear.”
– Ram Dass
Ram Dass, a beloved spiritual teacher, offered profound insights on why staying in the present moment is so challenging. In his iconic book Be Here Now Ram Dass spoke about the overwhelming mental noise that keeps us from fully experiencing the present. Our minds are filled with chatter—thoughts about who we think we are, who we think others are, what we should be doing, and what might happen next. This mental noise prevents us from being truly present, as we’re constantly caught up in the pull of our thoughts and attachments.
Ram Dass also spoke about the fear of vulnerability that often accompanies the present moment. We avoid this moment, in all its truth, because it can be uncomfortable to sit with the rawness of our feelings and experiences. We fear that the present might bring up memories, thoughts, and emotions we’re not ready to face, and so we fill our lives with distractions to avoid this discomfort. But in doing so, we miss out on the peace that lies in fully experiencing the moment as it is. Also, by giving into the fear we reaffirm an underlying limiting belief about ourselves, that we can’t handle whatever it is that we are feeling.
Ram Dass invites us to “be here now,” not as a goal to achieve but as an invitation to enter the moment, and see where it takes us. The more we release our grip on the past and future, the more fully we experience life as it is—alive, rich, and unfolding right before us.
Aging and the Increasing Difficulty of Presence
As we get older, staying present can feel even more challenging. With each trip around the sun, life piles up—moments of joy, moments of pain, and the stories we tell ourselves about them. We build identities around our past, our achievements, our struggles, and our expectations for the future. Our judgments grow alongside them, shaping how we see ourselves and the world. Our bodies change, and time feels more fleeting. And with all this accumulation—memories, beliefs, emotions—we end up carrying more than we realize, making it even harder to simply be in the here and now.
With age also comes the recognition of mortality, the impermanence of life, and the awareness of how much we still have left undone. This awareness can cause anxiety, regret, or a fear of the future, making it even harder to simply be in the moment. We might find ourselves distracted by thoughts of our health, our loved ones, or unresolved aspects of our past.
At the same time, the wisdom that comes with aging offers a unique opportunity to approach presence from a place of acceptance. As we mature, we may become more attuned to the fleeting nature of life and more willing to let go of the constant need to control it.
Embracing the Now
Practices like mindfulness—fully experiencing the present moment without judgment—are a gateway to living life in its fullness. Let me say that again: being fully present without judgment. It’s our attachment to memories, expectations, and desires that creates tension between us and reality, leaving us restless and dissatisfied. At the core of this struggle are our judgments—the labels of good and bad, right and wrong, wanted and unwanted. We hold these so tightly, so deeply, that they start to feel like absolute truth. But they’re not. They’re just thoughts—ones we can learn to let go of.
Mindfulness isn’t just about paying attention to the present moment; it’s about cultivating an awareness that allows us to be with whatever arises—whether it’s pleasure, pain, joy, or sorrow—without trying to control or escape it. It’s a practice of radical acceptance, where we observe our thoughts, feelings, and sensations without identifying with them or reacting, also without pushing them away with distractions.
Through mindfulness, we learn to sit with discomfort rather than running from it, and build our sense of self that we can handle the uncomfortable aspects of life. We stop avoiding our feelings, and instead, we welcome them as part of our human experience. Over time, mindfulness helps us break free from the constant need to escape the present moment and allows us to experience a deeper sense of peace.
Practical Ways to Cultivate Presence
The challenges to being present can be seen as the weights we lift to strengthen the muscle of our mind. There are many ways to begin cultivating the art of presence, regardless of age. Here are a few practices that can help:
1. Practice Mindfulness Regularly: Being more mindful can be as simple as bringing your full attention to whatever you are doing at any given moment. Whether you’re eating, walking, or simply sitting, try to bring your full attention to the task at hand. Notice the sights, sounds, and sensations of each moment. Do this, without judging what you are observing. Remember judgment is our mind’s way of asserting its limited identity. Simply take in all that is right here, right now.
2. Breathe Deeply: The breath is a powerful tool to anchor us in the present moment. The only place you can have a direct experience of your breath is in the present moment. You can not think yourself into your breath. Whenever you find yourself distracted or overwhelmed, pause and take a few deep, mindful breaths. Focus on the sensation of the breath entering and leaving your body.
3. Practice Yoga Movement: Movement of any sort is helpful for being present. A regular yoga practice that emphasizes breath and body awareness can help you develop the familiarity of being at ease in the present moment, making it easier to return. Yoga teaches us to listen to our bodies and honor the present moment, cultivating a sense of mindfulness both on and off the mat.
4. Limit Distractions: Take intentional breaks from digital devices and social media. Spend time each day without distractions, allowing yourself to reconnect with the present moment. This may offer space for discomfort to arise, remember this is part of the learning processes. Allow yourself to simply acknowledge the discomfort you may experience, let it be there as best you can, and remember to breathe.
5. Embrace Your Emotions: Instead of avoiding difficult emotions, allow yourself to feel them fully. Practice mindfulness and acceptance when uncomfortable feelings arise. Remember that feelings are temporary and they will pass. If an emotion is sticking around, as the mental creation of an emotion lasts only 90 seconds, means you are purposefully participating in perpetuating the feeling. It means your mind is telling you a story that keeps the feeling alive. If you let the story go, the emotion will dissipate.
6. Cultivate Gratitude: Make it a habit to reflect on what you are grateful for in the present moment. Gratitude helps shift your focus away from what you lack and towards the beauty of what you have right now. But instead of just listing all the wonderful things you are grateful for, be sure to include some of the challenges, as these difficulties are sometimes the greatest teachers. Including both the beautiful and the challenging allows us to learn to see our lives with equanimity, and frees our minds to flow with life.
Conclusion
Staying present isn’t always easy—especially as we get older. Our minds pull us in every direction, tangled in worries, regrets, and the endless noise of daily life. But here’s the thing: the struggle itself is part of the journey. Every time you choose to return to the now, you’re strengthening a deep trust in yourself—trust that you can handle whatever life brings. And with practice, it gets easier. The past loosens its grip, the future loses its weight, and you find yourself fully here, open to the peace, joy, and connection that only this moment can offer.